pamela

I'm alive again! :-)

2005-04-08T00:17:00.000+08:00

Well, i just can't expalin what i'm feeling right now... months have passed and i definitely want to start to change my life for the better. Since graduation, all i ever wanted is to land in a job that would really suit me. I already applied to only one school, actually i never expected that i would be accepted in that school. I already had my interview a while ago and i aso signed a 2 year contract which they call "the bond". I was so happy when they called me up and i have to be in corporate attire with proper make up! hehehe! But that doesn't end my agony, i was accepted but i have to go on training, with 2 weeks probation! well i'll just hope and pray that i would overcome this! Well it's been months and this is my first entry for the year 2005! Wish you all the best guys!!!

2004-12-04T16:52:00.000+08:00

It's already december, and this is my first entry of the month! I really missed blogging! I was kinda busy that's why. Well i just have to set things straight, these past weeks, we already went to our own respective teachers for our ojt. I was really hard up in handling the kids, I realized it was really tough and i can now feel the stress in my chosen profession. Eventhough it was only for a week since we started, i feel like giving up, but i guess i have to face the reality and work on it with dedication. Everyday is a new day for me and for all of us having our ojt at A. Mabini Elementary school. Since i entered the school, it was a whole new experience for me. The kids are different, the teachers are also different. Here you can see the realities of life, on how they treat the kids,how the education system is not that good, and the whole environment. Well wish me luck! I know i can do this!

Prayers

2004-11-07T15:49:00.000+08:00

All of us pray, some pray for material things, good health, a happy realtionship, blessings and many more! But do you ever wonder why some prayers are answered while other prayers are not? Well this is the answer, if we pray, we should be 100% sure, without doubts and believe that what you are asking will be given, and also we should have a strong faith. The prayers that we ask for depends on how sincere we are, because if we have a little doubt on our prayer,surely it will not be given. And of course all we need is PATIENCE. God always gives time for everything. And take note: he is never late in giving his blessings, he is always on time. The power of prayer really amazes me on how it works, and i'm thankful that eventhough i don't have everything, i still believe that someday God hears my prayers and soon and hopefully he would answer everything, IN HIS TIME. I just wanted to share this guys, and i hope you've learned a lesson from me! hehehe! Take care! God bless!

7 rules of being happy

2004-10-13T16:13:00.000+08:00

I just learned the rules, and it works!
1. Pray
2. smile often
3. help others
4. expect a little
5. give more
6. be yourself
7. stay in love

Actually, these are my rules.I really thank God for what i am experiencing right now. I realized that it's a wonderful feeling being alive...... again........

I'm Happy!!!!!!!

2004-10-03T14:11:00.000+08:00

It's a great experience when you find yourself in a situation you really never expected to happen (maybe not this time), before, i always keep on praying, and i never expected that the answer would be answered right away! I love the way it goes! Maybe it was really intended for me, all i have to do is to take care of it. God is sooo good! and oh, before i end this up coz i'm running out of thoughts to write, I just want to share how my prayer was answered, try praying to Saint Anthony de Padua... He's my fave saint! And surely, you'll get positive results!!! And of course you also should have a strong faith in everything you wish for. If it was really intended for you it will be given. Take care!!! God bless!!!

=)

2004-09-24T17:34:00.000+08:00

I never thought that some of the things you least expect will come right into your feet without knowing it. I experience this all the time but, i just sometimes put it aside as if i didn't see or i didn't care at all. Too bad..... hehehe! Well that's what life is, full of mysteries, you'll never know what's going to happen.

As we walk through life, there are some instances that we tend to look ahead without looking at the back. We always look for what we think would make us complete, but the one that we always look is always right infront of our nose but we tend not to see it. You see guys, have you ever wondered that the one you've been craving for is just in front of you? well it's up for us to see and analyze things.

MYSTERIES OF LIFE.........
Everything that lies here on earth is a mystery... sometimes we do not know what is our purpose here on earth..... That still remains a mystery on my part.. WHAT AM I HERE FOR? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? YOU? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR HERE FOR?

the enlightenment i feel

2004-09-20T17:48:00.000+08:00

I thank God for all the blessings that i receive everyday! the enlightenment i feel right now, i'm speechless! God is so good, i really can't deny that! i think most of you guys agree with me right? hehehe! his mysterious ways that somewhat amazes me is the feeling that makes my faith even stronger.I sometimes wonder what life's gonna be if God is not there at all? tsk tsk! I can't even find words to describe what will happen to us. GOD HAS PLANS FOR ALL OF US!.and that's the thing that i want to thank because of that priviledge that each of us have! I know God never leaves us hanging, he's always there..... you can't see him..... but you feel him.....

God has been the pillar of my strength, i pity those who don't know or recognize him, they don't know what they're missing. I thank God for the day that he has given me trials but i knew in my heart i can overcome all of this. I KNOW HE'LL NEVER LEAVE ME... HE NEVER FAILS.... and i know deep in my heart that all of us whenever we have trials, he will never leave you, just trust him and you'll feel how his hand would touch your heart that will capture your spirit, or i could say your whole being. God bless you all!

my thoughts for the day

2004-09-18T14:54:00.000+08:00

It's a nice feeling if your with your love ones, i just can't describe the feeling. I'm so happy that i still have my love ones whom i can cling to, especially my sister who's been so good to me. And i'll thank her for life! actually i just don't know what i'm going to say, i'm out of ideas. i just write the things that comes out on my mind. Haaaayyyy............. hehehe. just have a blessed weekend.

very inspiring

2004-09-16T18:21:00.000+08:00

We sometimes see people who truly care about us differently. We wander around searching for the person who will make us happy but we just end up hurting because we always end up with someone we love rather than someone who loves us more. We always think that who we love will make us happy. But the fact is, true happiness is not just about loving but being loved in return. We all have our lessons to learn.

Let us always remember that it is not others who should make us happy. Happiness should come from within us. It is a state of our being that should not be the result of other people's participation in our lives. If they become part of that happiness then well and good. But if they choose not to then we should lose no reason to be happy. Because we are what we make our lives. Let us allow others to be part of the joys that we are blessed with but let them not be the reason for happiness to be taken away from us.

To my fellow bloggers, well i just learned my lesson, and thanks for being a part of it. I realized that i have so many blessings to thank for! love you all!

2004-09-13T10:23:00.000+08:00

Somebody said that when God sees us, he closes his one eye not to see the negative in us..... well it's true. And i can prove that. Actually, i'm having an emotional breakdown right now. I have so many mistakes in my life that i really have to fix, ofcourse, i should start it to myself. I often wonder why i'm like this, and i hate it. All i want in my life is to be happy, but still, i could'nt. I don't know how. Somethings really change at the last minute, and in the least expected time. I have been a happy person before, but now, i feel like a mess! maybe this is a test that i have to hold and resolve. Something is really bothering me, i just can't help but think of it most of the time..... I just can't move on..... it's so hard.... and there are so many questions unanswered. I know it's really over, maybe i really need sometime by not seeing that person again! it affects me,my whole being and the people around me! and i hate him for that!

My 2 adopted sisters

2004-09-10T14:00:00.000+08:00

My first goal in life is to finish studies, have work and most of all, to help my family. My life is really boring as you can see, but i try to see things the normal way. I am a product of a happy family, we are 5, 2 boys and 3 girls. But we have two adopted sisters that we have to take care, so all in all, were seven. Our life isn't that easy, although most of us are already finishing our studies, we still have the obligation to make it up for the two of our adopted sisters.Actually, four of them are with us, in one family. tha older boy is staying in my uncle's house, the baby, lives in my aunt's house and the two, lives in our house, so when there's an occassion they always see each other. It was really hard handling them because they have these inferiority complex that occurs all the time, and some minor problems that we encounter with them everyday,because they know, the're adopted. We try to understand them but sometimes it's really hard. Actually they are so lucky and we are so lucky to have them too, and we love them so much. I wonder why they don't realize that. (maybe they're just too young to understand) i really hope and pray that someday, they would be enlightened.

missing someone

2004-09-07T18:27:00.000+08:00

When i was in first year college, i really had a hard time dealing with my life. Every week after my class ends i always see to it that i'll be going home to where i really belong. Those days were my darkest days, i feel alone, have no one to cling to whenever i needed someone, and most of all, i miss my family. But as the years passed by, i was already used to it. I found friends whom i can hang out on to, friends whom i can tell my feelings and all that. But there are pieces of me that really makes me incomplete inspite of everything. I MISS SOMEONE. Way back to my roots in baguio, i had a bestfriend that i really loved because of the goodness i see whenever i see her. For me, she's amazing!. I'll never forget the days when we were together, the crazy things that we used to, the secrets that we share, and with her, you can really talk about everything under the sun! This person is my angel, my everything. When i was here in manila, i always look for that same person exactly as she is, but unfortunately, i can't find someone like her.(obvious ba? wala namang ganun!hehehe!) She's the person who accepted me as i am, understands me and most of all loved me even at my worst! in short, our friendship was unconditional. She's an angel in disguise. I'll never forget this person, and she would be in my heart FOREVER. This post is for her. Love you Rucelle! and thanks too for my friends and fellow bloggers! take care!

Baguio

2004-09-04T16:59:00.000+08:00

I'm really excited! at last, i'm going home to Baguio! My hometown! Igorota kaya to noh! hehehe. Sem break is just around the corner, but first, i should still accomplish my unfinished bussiness here. (madali nalang yon!) hehehe!. I'm so excited! i'm going to see my Family! I really miss them!

My most embarassing experience

2004-09-01T16:11:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the most embarassing moment of my life! Actually it really made me happy, after all. Yesterday was "THE LINGGO NG WIKA" of the kids at Mary's road Preschool. All of us were busy preparing for the program for that day. (This is where i'm having my practicum.) We also wore costumes that would make the event more interesting. (hehehe!) We prepared a puppet show for the kids and thank God they enjoyed it. The puppet show was entitled "ANG PAGONG AT ANG MATSING", we really had a hard time preparing because we have to make our visuals big and colorful. So the puppet show ended, and this time it's time for the games. The children played "LUKSONG TINIK" and we were the ones who organized it as well as we were the ones who volunteered to make use of our feet for the kids to jump. It was really fun but my feet was hurt because of the kids! (biruin mo apak-apakan ba naman ang paa mo! hehehe!) To cut the story short, here comes my most embarassing moment :

Parents were having their lunch while I was assisting some students in the play area, until one pupil pulled my pants down! God i really felt embarassed because my "BUTT" was exposed infront of the parents! I couldn't talk for a while, all i can say was "ENZO(name of the pupil) BAD YAN!". One Mommy kept on laughing at me because there were so many parents who saw it! i just couldn't help but laugh too. The mommy told me it was okay because she told me that my "BUTT" was smooth and white! (Maputi naman daw! Grrrr! hehehe!). Kids are really playful at times, but as soon as i get to Mary's road again, i'll really keep an eye on that cute, and adorable enzo, who really embarassed me!! Nyahahaha!! just joking!

?!

2004-08-27T17:48:00.000+08:00

Here i am again, facing the computer with all my thoughts just rushing on my head. I'm a little bit depressed right now, there are so many things that i want to do with my life. The problem is, i don't know where to start. I thank God inspite everything that i've done, i still feel he's always there for me. I always wonder why life, i mean my life is ought to be like this, I always find it hard to please other people, I know I can't please everybody but i often feel that the peolpe that are dear to me seems to see me as if i was a total losser.(ofcourse except my family and friends). Especially __________. It's hard feeling this way but i just can't help it. I know this sounds crazy but i just wanted to let my feelings out, i just needed an outlet.

Maybe what i am feeling right now is a combination of fear and a hopeless girl who just wants everything to be okay. I just can't understand the things that is happening to me, maybe everything has a reason. All i have to do is to keep my faith strong and keep my life going and wait and wait and wait. Life has it's own twists and turns isn't? Life, has struggles for us to meet along the way for us to be a better and stonger persons. Maybe this is what God wants me to realize, that not everything in life and not everything you wanted will be yours. Maybe you asked for it but somebody owns it and deserves it more than you do. A part of me is still crying right now, i'm just feeling hopeless. GOD HELP ME!

the people i admire most

2004-08-25T09:16:00.000+08:00

There are a number of people i admire the most. I have been thinking how would our lives be if there were people who are simply amazing in their own ways. I wonder why there are people whom i think are special. Maybe it's in their personality,the way they see people and the way they see life. How i wish people were as amazing as the people i really admire! hehehe! of course all of us are different,and that is impossible. We are unique in our own ways.

These are the people that i really admire:

1. Parents- i really admire them because of their intelligence.
their love for their children and the way they brought us up.

2. My siblings- i admire them because of the support that we get from each other. Especially my brother, you know what once you get to know him, you'll definitely fall for him,his looks, his kindness, his intelligence and the way he looks at people. What really amazes me about my brother is that i learn a lot from him, he always points out on the inner beauty that makes me wonder how lucky his wife is.How i wish all of the guys out there would be like him! hehehehe!

3. Friends- specially kessa,aecee,kooky, arnie and Ms. international. I really like them because of their crazy acts and their lunatic minds. But they are true people that you can depend when you need help. Sometimes they can be so mean. well it's not them if they are not like that! Mga Peste! hahaha!!!

That's all for now. I'm running out of ideas. Ciao!

life is what we make it

2004-08-20T16:37:00.000+08:00

Most of us often dream a wonderful story, a story like the movies we watch, fairy tales that we used to watch or listen when we were kids, a match made in heaven, but when reality bites, sometimes we get dissapointed when things go wrong and sometimes we blame the people that are around us. But the truth is, we are the ones making what our life's gonna be: happy or miserable.

I don't believe in destiny, well this is my own opinion. I see life as a battle, each and everyone of us has his or her struggles in life. This is the challenge that we have to face and choices that we have to make. Sometimes, we make mistakes in making decisions, that leads to consequences that teach us lessons in life. In short, we are the ones who's shaping and choosing what will happen to our lives.

I remember my mom used to tell me this: HAPPINESS CAN'T BE FOUND ANYWHERE-- IT IS IN OURSELVES--WE MAKE OUR OWN....IT LIES IN OUR HEARTS-AND REST IN OUR SOUL. !!!!Beautiful!!!. I thank God for giving me persons that teach me lessons in life, especially my family.

I want to share something ,actually i only read this in a booklet that they gave me. this is for you guys!

I KNOW SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT YOU

Wouldn't this old world be better,
If the folks we meet would say:
I know something good about you,
And then treat us just that way!

Wouldn't it be fine and dandy,
If each hand-clasp warm and true,
Carried with it this assurance,
I know something good about you!

Wouldn't things here be more pleasant
If the good that's in us all,
Were the only thing about us,
That folks bothered to recall!

Wouldn't life be lots more happy
If we'd praise the good we see!
For there's such a lot of goodness,
In the worst of you and me.

Wouldn't it be nice to practice,
this fine way of thingking too;
You know something good about me,
I know something good about you!

I hope this would inspire us to do good and see the goodness in others, this may be hard, but why don't we try? !!! God bless us all!!!

my so called life

2004-08-18T10:27:00.000+08:00

My life- like everybody else knew is kinnda boring. no night life, has a curfew, and living in a dorm where every move is being observed. I have so many things stuck up on my mind but i just can't explain of what i feel right now.
Sometimes, i feel i should move on but it seems it's so hard for me to do. I've been in love with a person before but, i still love him until now. I always pray to God, that someday, somehow, we could fix the mess and everything would turn out just fine. God i miss him! I hope he's the one for me. I know we still have a long way, but i still hope that God would give him to me! well we'll just see.
This beautiful quote i just received seconds ago i find it meaningful and here it goes: WHEN YOU LOVE, IT'S NOT FOR YOU TO BE UNDERSTOOD, BUT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND; NOT FOR YOU TO TAKE, BUT TO BE TAKEN; NOT TO DICTATE BUT TO LISTEN; NOT TO DEMAND BUT SACRIFICE; NOT TO COUNT NOR MEASURE BYT TO LOVE. ganda noh? hehehe
As of now we're both single but still we communicate, actually i'm still not ready in commiting to myself to someone. Maybe this is not yet the time for me and for the both of us. I still have to change myself for the better, it's not because of him, it's because i want it for myself. Well goodluck nalang sakin!. these are the things i want to have for myself:

1. THE FIRST ON MY LIST IS TRUST- TRUST IN MYSELF AND IT IS THE MAIN INGREDIENT IN ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP.
2. LOVE FOR MYSELF AND FOR OTHERS. I SHOULD NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN.
3. CONTROL MY TEMPER.
4. HAVE PEACE OF MIND.
5. BE GOOD TO EVERYONE.
6. HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF.
7. MAKE MY PARENTS HAPPY AND BE PROUD OF ME.

Well maybe these are only a few things that i have in mind right now. Now i learned that, maybe if i could make this things happen to me, all would be alright.

my day

2004-08-11T18:25:00.000+08:00

it's my birthday. i can't believe i'm getting older. well, i have received so many text messages from my family and friends. Starting at 3 am, all of the text messages really came rushing in! It's good to know that somebody still cares for you!! it's a great feeling!. To start, i went to attend mass with all the sisters, after the mass, all of them greeted me and all of them came and starting kissing me one by one! imagine 50 sisters! i think it was the whole A.R. community sisters attended the mass just to greet me! it was very touching! they even gave me a booklet, a rosary guide booklet!! hehehe ( maybe they often see me not attending the rosary. hehehe.). After the mass, i received a call from my ex greeting me a happy birthday. It nearly ruined my day, coz i felt a little guilty for not inviting him on my birthday, so i told myself, never mind him.

I met lianne at my dorm coz she told me to accompany her in organizing the program, it was for the international students association. They all did great!!! to cut things short, i attended my class, coz my teacher invited a speaker to talk about life. This speaker was a former student of CEU, he's a teacher, major in english and his name was Kirby Tan. He was really good, i learned a lot from him! especially when he talked about a young boy who lost track and and dropped off to school for 2 and a half years! and to find out who's that boy, he told us, it was him. At first i couldn't believe coz you'll never imagine an intelligent guy stuck into that situation, he told us he had a hard time looking for another school to transfer! and it was really a hopeless case coz all of his grades were low, imagine, all of his subjects was in the line of 5! tsk tsk! but still he strived to get a life, he was given a chance to go to school again, now at CEU taking up education. It was way back, 1998. Joined organizations and became an outstanding practicumer. Now he's now a teacher and he'll be leaving for china to teach into a university. wow.

This really inspired me to strive harder,to think positive in everything you do and have faith in myself. These are some of the things that i learned:
1. LIVE TO LEARN AND YOU WILL LEARN TO LIVE.
2. WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE- IT MEANS THAT IF YOU WORK
REALLY HARD, YOU WILL ACHIEVE SOMETHING.
3. NO ONE EVER FINDS LIFE WORTH LIVING-HE HAS TO MAKE IT WORTH
LIVING.

my birthday with my friends.......

2004-08-10T19:09:00.000+08:00

My birthday was suppose to be tomorrow (aug.11), but i just treated my friends (aecee, kooky,kessa,arnie) a while ago.We went to Greenbelt, ate at ebun, we really got our stomachs full!. We had silly taking pictures of ourselves!!! it was really fun. Though it was simple, i couldn't ask for more. I thank God for having my Family and friends who really knows "PAM" i mean the real pam, who never gets tired of me. And these people, who accepted me for who i am, will really be kept inside my heart forever.

Whew!!!!!

2004-08-10T05:55:00.000+08:00

I thought this day would be my unlucky day , but still i was happy. To start this,we ate breakfast in mcdonald's before we joined the mendiola consortium in San Beda, it was their 29th aniversary, it was about the gathering of the four schools in mediola, namely: CEU, San Beda, La Consolation and Holy Spirit. We were required to join the activity, and all of us were there together with my teacher. All of us were doing fine, and all of a sudden, i nearly panicked, because when i was about to get my wallet, i could'nt look for it in my bag, and i thought, i forgot it in mcdonald's, by that time, i could'nt refrain myself in going out of the auditorium and without second thoughts, i told my friend to accompany me in going to mcdonald's and look for it, i wasn't really worried about the money inside the wallet, but i was really worried about my atm!!! My GOD!!! i thought my whole day would be ruined because of that damn wallet! And take note: my birthday would be celebrated tomorrow (aug.10 but actually my bithday is on the 11th), and i've got no money just in case my atm was lost! i even kept praying!! just to see my wallet. But fortunately, because God is so good to me, hehehe!! i found it!! whew!!!!! and how? He was about to fix the messy table, when he noticed that something was dropped on the side of the table and Tata!! he saw my wallet, at long last my worries had vanished! thanks to the honest crew! It was really stupid of me, and i said to myself, i would always stick my wallet into my body so it won't get lost!! hehehe!!!!

it's been quite a while........

2004-08-07T09:52:00.000+08:00

this is my first blogging of the month, because of so many things bugging me. By the way, there are so many things that happened to me, but this story i want to share just happened last sunday. So the story goes this way:
Aug. 1 is the celebration of my friend in alabang, and i am the only one who's going to attend the party because all of my dormates went home. So i invited a guy friend to accompany me in going there, it's quite far so i need a companion. But first, i have to accompany him to meet his client, so we rode the lrt and went down to santolan. After meeting his client, i told him that i don't know how to go to alabang, coz the only route that i know is in central station near sm manila. So he told me not to worry, and we'll gona find a way. We walk, and walk and walk! it was so tiring! i told him " nililigaw mo ata ako e layo na ng narating natin!" and he told me " hindi, basta kasama mo ko, d ka mawawala." so i just followed him. At last we found a bus going to alabang! and this was my first experience in riding a bus that is stinky, dirty and it was crowded! grabe! nanghuhulas talaga kami ng pawis!! and all of the odors inside the bus including the peole who are sweating, joined forces! grbe sobrng baho talaga! but fortunately, i was able to tolerate it, and he didn't hear a single complain coming from me. And at last we arrived safely and went to my friends' house! we were so hungry! we really ate a lot!!! grabe!. So the lesson of this story is "hwag kang maarte" hahaha! (connection?!)

La lang

2004-07-21T17:31:00.001+08:00

I slept at lianne's house to make our thesis, but unfortunately i did'nt help at all! hehehe!!! but still i gave her a hand in reading and dictating on what to write in our chapter 1 thesis. And oh, i forgot, i also saw lianne's brother, Tang ina! ang gwapo! super, but he's too skiny for me! (Kahit na! hehehe!!) I also met her parents and her youngest brother and her older sister, well i find them great!.
This morning, we waited for Marc to come and get us at lianne's place but we end up commuting because Marc was still far, and by the time he'll be there, we'll be late! So we went to Mary's road to begin our observation, i was so excited in seeing them again coz i really enjoy teaching the kids! It was tiring but it was worth it. To end my day,i went here to see aecee and have some "boy hunting" haha!

hay grabe

2004-07-20T17:07:00.000+08:00

well i'm here at lianne's place and it's my first time to be here. We were with Marc (lianne's fiance), sheena( Tibo! Joke!), and kessa( sexy ass!). We had a long trip in going here!!! but it was fun. We ate "putubumbong"! hehehe!! im happy to be here at least i got myself out of my boring life in the dorm! and just for once i would'nt be able to see sister for a day!! haha! just kidding!!

What a life!!

2004-07-20T11:00:00.000+08:00

I'm here once again, all i have to do is do the same things everyday, wake up in the morning, go to school, sleep etc.... etc...at the end of the day, i end up wondering why life is so boring for me. It could be my dorm? well maybe yes! partly. Actually, i have so many things to be thankful for, a loving family, studying in a nice school, friends and many more! but still i find myself empty at times, maybe there's something missing that i still didnt find in my entire life! well i'll just leave it that way! maybe someday, somehow i would find that missing part that i've always wanted.

hay blog

2004-07-12T14:29:00.000+08:00

c kessa ang gumawa ng blog ko..